I like the age that I am; I like the experiences that I have gone through, the knowledge that I have gained – even the struggles that I have encountered. All these things have shaped me into a person that I like better today, more than I liked even two or three years ago.
But the one thing I don’t like about being in my late twenties is being single. Actually, more specifically, it’s not being single that’s the problem. It’s being the only remaining single person within my friend group.
It’s a weird thing to watch my friends getting married, buying houses and talking about having babies, whereas I’m single, flatting and wanting a fur-baby more than an actual baby. If life was a game, then it feels like they are rolling the dice and moving on to the next level, while I’m still stuck on the first stage.
I’m happy for them, but there is a niggle inside of me that I hate to even acknowledge – a niggle that says, “Hey, wait for me,” and “When is it my turn?”.
And then, on Sunday, I attended a sermon where the pastor preached two pertinent points:
- God gives us what we need (not necessarily what we want). Oftentimes the wait between out prayer being received and answered is what we need; this is where the work happens.
- “One day when…” mentality. This mentality is when we think, “One day when… (I get a new job/I get married/ I have kids, etc)…I will be happy”, and usually occurs when we are waiting for something that we want (or think we want).
Listening to that, I realised: that is me! Watching my close friends get married, buying houses, and have kids… they are things I had always wanted, but am now impatient to have, if only so that I can be in the same stage of life as them. I’ve gotten into the habit of thinking ,”one day when”. One day when I meet the right person, I will be this, or do that. I was stuck in a sort of purgatory, just waiting for what I wanted.
It made me realise that while what I want is a partner, what I need is personal growth – and maybe that is what this period of ‘waiting’ is intended to provide.
It’s easy for me to forget that you can’t rush life, especially as I can’t help but compare myself to my friends – I know that I shouldn’t, but knowing doesn’t mean I can automatically stop.
I think in those moments, what I need to remember is this: life is not linear, or a race.