What is love?

Is love (of the romantic variety) grand gestures, butterflies in the stomach and physical attraction?

Or is it spending time together, being true with each other – no facades or veiled words – and sticking together despite the challenges?

Is love a choice, something we have to consciously keep working on and a relationship we decide to continue?

Does love have it’s cycles, where we can fall in and out of love with the same person, in various ways and multiple times throughout the span of the relationship?

What is love, and is it worth it?

Friendships are Weird

Today I caught up with some old friends whom I hadn’t seen in a while. Truth be told, I thought our friendship had been left in the past -not because of any drama that happened, or any feelings of dislike, but because… life.

As we grow older, our paths seem to become more divergent. We get caught up in our own things; the coffee dates, shopping sprees, girly catch ups fade into the background. Careers, partners,babies, new friends in a similar phase of life come into the foreground.

Before we know it, we haven’t spoken in days, weeks, months, years.

There are some friendships where this is the end.

There are others, where the friendship is lying dormant, to be re-kindled once the paths converge again.

There are still more where the friendship still exists, but the relationship isn’t as deep as it once was. Where it’s held together mostly by shared history and memories of good times.

Friendships are weird, varied, ever changing, and complex.

But I treasure all of them. 🙂

Life Mottos

In my almost 27 years on this earth, I have come to believe in two life mottos:

1. Things happen as they should and when they should

2. Always try your best

Some people think these two mottos are contradictory (if things are going to happen anyway, then why try?), but I think of them as complementary.

See, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that events unfold when they should (as a believer in God, I do think He gives us what we need, when we need it).

However, this doesn’t mean that we should take a passive approach to life and WAIT for things to happen; unless you’re extraordinarily lucky, good things don’t happen by chance.

This is where the “trying” comes in. Always try your best and take advantage of opportunities, because if you don’t try, you don’t know what could happen. Trying gives you a chance – whether that’s to gain knowledge, experiences, win the lotto, whatever. Not trying gives you nothing – literally nothing.

And if you put in your 100%, but the outcome isn’t what you wanted, that’s because something better is waiting for you down the road.

Every time I am afraid to take the leap, I remind myself of the above – and every time, a month, weeks or even years later, I have had an “Aha! That’s why I…(insert moment of revelation here)”.

So, note to self: don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back. Put your best foot forward. If it happens, it happens.

😊

Ps. I now have an insta account (@sociallyawkwardetiquette)

Do you ever?

Do you ever feel useless?

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough?

Do you ever feel the anxiety building and building inside of you, like it’s going to drown you?

Do you ever wish that you could win a lotto windfall overnight, so you can quit your job and never worry about money again?

Do you ever think that money will make you happy?

Do you ever feel that there is more to life than money?

That happiness and well-being is more important?

Do you ever wish that societal expectations would reflect this?

I do.

Reminders to Self

1. The only time I should look at someone else’s bowl, is to make sure they have enough.

2. Everything happens in its own time. Don’t try to force it.

3. Karma is a bitch.

4. Everything happens for a reason.

5. Don’t measure my life using someone else’s story.

6. I am blessed. I have good family, friends, career, health. I don’t have everything I want, but I have everything I need.

What If?

A few months ago, my partner and I of 4 and a half years made the decision to end our relationship. It wasn’t an easy decision and on my part especially, I felt a lot of fear. Fear, because I was in the land of the comfortably coupled, and now found myself potentially facing the unknowns of single-dom.

What if I never found someone else again?

What if I had to start over?

What if this is the best I could get?

What if all relationships are like this?

What if I was making a mistake?

What if we could move past this?

What if? What if? What if.

Here is what is.

We can waste years of our lives stuck in the same rut, pondering those possible ‘what if’ scenarios – I know, because I stayed in a relationship that ended at least two years before we officially called it. This is not a grass is greener situation, but one where I ignored multiple red flags (and my gut instinct) to cling onto a relationship because I was afraid of starting over.

In my case, finally making the decision to face the unknowns is the best decision that I have made for myself. I haven’t found the answer to the ‘what if’ questions, but I do know this:

I am happier. My life is fuller. Everyday, I am growing as a person and learning more about myself as an individual. And I have no regrets.

Things may not always turn out for the best, but from each mistake comes a lesson. Perhaps an important ‘what if’ question to ask yourself is: What if I regret this?

As my dear millennials are fond of saying : YOLO (You Only Live Once).

A life filled with some mistakes is better than a life filled with regrets.

Sae xo

Reflections

It’s funny. When I was a kid, I looked forward to being a cool teen.

When I was a (not so cool) teen in high school, I looked forward to life as a university student.

When I was a university student , I looked forward to life as a working professional.

Now that I’m a working professional, I look forward to the day that I can retire.

But I also look back, and miss the times when I was in university.

When I was a teen.

When I was a kid.

Miss it to the point, where if I could turn back the clock, I would. Just so I could revel in it and appreciate that time in my life for what it was.

And it makes me think, will I look back at this point of my life, and wish I was back here?

The answer is most likely yes.

So I should live it, and appreciate it for what it is.