Dear Ex

It’s been a while since we last talked…How are you doing?

I’ve been doing some thinking, and have something I’ve been wanting to say.

It wasn’t your fault we broke up. It was mine, too.

I’m sorry for not supporting you more.

I’m sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about some things.

I’m sorry for hurting you.

I’m sorry for not realizing what we had when we had it.

I miss you.

I’m thankful that you were in my life.

Thankful for the memories.

Thankful for your love.

Thankful for the laughter.

Thankful for the experiences.

Thank you.

It’s been awhile… And I hear you’re dating someone new.

I hope you are happy.

I hope she appreciates you.

I hope she makes you laugh.

I hope she loves you with as much love as you give out to others.

I’m hopeful that we can meet again as friends.

I Wonder

I used to wonder…

How do lovers end up becoming haters?

How do people who were at the center of your life end up becoming strangers?

How do close knit friends end up becoming mere acquaintances?

I wonder, what happens to all those feelings, shared experiences and memories?

I’ve experienced all of the above, and still have no answers.

But I guess it’s the same way that a stranger can become your closest confidante.

A casual friendship can become your strongest and most enduring relationship .

A chance encounter can mean you meet your soul mate.

An instant connection can be felt with a person you just met.

I wonder at the magic of human interactions.

(Happy) New Year

2020 was not an easy year. I entered it with expectations, ideas of what I wanted to achieve and an overall sense that my life plan was more or less laid out.

I thought I would be leaving 2020 with a house, and a fiancé.

That didn’t happen.

Instead 2020 ended with my life in free-fall; for the first time in 5 years, I had no idea of what the future held, and quite frankly, that terrified me (still does, even more so due to the age of 30 looming in the near future ). And then there was also Covid-19.

But at the same time, 2020 wasn’t the worst year. It was definitely the most challenging, but it was also the year I reconnected with friends, travelled, re-discovered myself and had “me” time. The year I discovered what was important, and learnt to slow down and appreciate the small things.

As 2021 begins, I am still anxious about what the future holds, but I’m also hopeful.

I have plans to enrol in a language course, potentially look for a new job, relocate to another city, volunteer again, meet new friends, date.

Happy new year.

Please be better than the last.

Reflections

It’s funny. When I was a kid, I looked forward to being a cool teen.

When I was a (not so cool) teen in high school, I looked forward to life as a university student.

When I was a university student , I looked forward to life as a working professional.

Now that I’m a working professional, I look forward to the day that I can retire.

But I also look back, and miss the times when I was in university.

When I was a teen.

When I was a kid.

Miss it to the point, where if I could turn back the clock, I would. Just so I could revel in it and appreciate that time in my life for what it was.

And it makes me think, will I look back at this point of my life, and wish I was back here?

The answer is most likely yes.

So I should live it, and appreciate it for what it is.