Grateful

Sometimes, I have these little random moments where I just pause and look around.

And think, man, I am so grateful.

For my friends and family.

For this roof over my head.

For this sunny day.

For this time to myself.

For this music playing on the radio.

Even for the decor in my bedroom.

Just all these tiny details that get lost in every day life, and get taken for granted.

I feel so blessed.

Friendships are Weird

Today I caught up with some old friends whom I hadn’t seen in a while. Truth be told, I thought our friendship had been left in the past -not because of any drama that happened, or any feelings of dislike, but because… life.

As we grow older, our paths seem to become more divergent. We get caught up in our own things; the coffee dates, shopping sprees, girly catch ups fade into the background. Careers, partners,babies, new friends in a similar phase of life come into the foreground.

Before we know it, we haven’t spoken in days, weeks, months, years.

There are some friendships where this is the end.

There are others, where the friendship is lying dormant, to be re-kindled once the paths converge again.

There are still more where the friendship still exists, but the relationship isn’t as deep as it once was. Where it’s held together mostly by shared history and memories of good times.

Friendships are weird, varied, ever changing, and complex.

But I treasure all of them. 🙂

Do you ever?

Do you ever feel useless?

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough?

Do you ever feel the anxiety building and building inside of you, like it’s going to drown you?

Do you ever wish that you could win a lotto windfall overnight, so you can quit your job and never worry about money again?

Do you ever think that money will make you happy?

Do you ever feel that there is more to life than money?

That happiness and well-being is more important?

Do you ever wish that societal expectations would reflect this?

I do.

Reminders to Self

1. The only time I should look at someone else’s bowl, is to make sure they have enough.

2. Everything happens in its own time. Don’t try to force it.

3. Karma is a bitch.

4. Everything happens for a reason.

5. Don’t measure my life using someone else’s story.

6. I am blessed. I have good family, friends, career, health. I don’t have everything I want, but I have everything I need.

What If?

A few months ago, my partner and I of 4 and a half years made the decision to end our relationship. It wasn’t an easy decision and on my part especially, I felt a lot of fear. Fear, because I was in the land of the comfortably coupled, and now found myself potentially facing the unknowns of single-dom.

What if I never found someone else again?

What if I had to start over?

What if this is the best I could get?

What if all relationships are like this?

What if I was making a mistake?

What if we could move past this?

What if? What if? What if.

Here is what is.

We can waste years of our lives stuck in the same rut, pondering those possible ‘what if’ scenarios – I know, because I stayed in a relationship that ended at least two years before we officially called it. This is not a grass is greener situation, but one where I ignored multiple red flags (and my gut instinct) to cling onto a relationship because I was afraid of starting over.

In my case, finally making the decision to face the unknowns is the best decision that I have made for myself. I haven’t found the answer to the ‘what if’ questions, but I do know this:

I am happier. My life is fuller. Everyday, I am growing as a person and learning more about myself as an individual. And I have no regrets.

Things may not always turn out for the best, but from each mistake comes a lesson. Perhaps an important ‘what if’ question to ask yourself is: What if I regret this?

As my dear millennials are fond of saying : YOLO (You Only Live Once).

A life filled with some mistakes is better than a life filled with regrets.

Sae xo

Breathe, Just Breathe

2020… I think most of us would agree that this year has been challenging to say the least. Because, hello? Global pandemic in the form of Covid 19.

It’s been scary, not knowing what is going to happen, not knowing if we, or our loved ones, are going to be affected.

It’s been frustrating, not being able to visit our friends and family. Not having the freedom to move around as we want.

It’s been lonely, not having the face to face social interactions that we as humans crave.

It’s been hopeful, seeing some countries begin to recover.

It’s been enlightening, being forced to slow down in a world that moves at a lightning pace, and actually think.

It’s been a revelation, that the things that we took for granted in the past, some of the most simple pleasures, like giving someone a hug, or spending time with family and friends, or taking a walk around the block, are the things that matter most in life.

It’s been a rollercoaster, as we jump from one emotion to another, as some days things seem to get better, and then other days it seems to go backwards.

But, friends, take a deep breath in. Let it out. And repeat.

This is but a moment in our lives, an experience that will shape us for the better or worse.

Breathe. In. And out. Repeat.

Take this time to be present in the moment.

Because this too shall pass.

Sae xo