Defining Figures

Last night, I was reading my friend’s journal (with her permission), and she was writing about a really good friend of hers who had passed away. She didn’t know him for very long, but nevertheless, their friendship was deep and his impact on her life lasting.

This made me realise a couple of things:

  1. The strongest friendships aren’t always the longest ones
  2. You never know what kind of impact you may have on someone’s life

Quite often, I take for granted the effect that a comment or gesture may have on someone else. Something that I say as a passing remark may be stuck on record in someone else’s head. Something I don’t even remember doing may be an everlasting memory for someone else.

This was a timely reminder.

Whoops – Life…

I slipped off the bandwagon again… and stopped updating regularly (although long-time followers will likely be thinking that this blog has never been updated regularly, which would be correct).

The past week has been crazy busy; I packed up all my things and moved into a new flat, have had a social commitments, work and, oh yeah, we have gone back into lockdown due to a community Covid-19 outbreak. So that’s been fun.

Let’s start with the moving. After three years living in my previous flat, I have found a new home. It’s a bit further out from the city, but has all the necessary amenities nearby (supermarket, laundromat, cafe etc). It took me three days to deep clean the room, unpack and get settled in, but I am loving my room. It’s a lot nicer and gets a ridiculous amount of natural light during the day, which I cannot get over! Previous room was a dungeon in comparison. Of course, there’s the whole thing about getting to know the new flatmates, but that’s another post… 😉

Social commitments – the only thing I have to say about this is DO NOT arrange to have dinner and drinks out on the weekend that you move. I did this. It was a bad idea.

And lastly, Covid-19… I live in a place where we had a brief respite from the pandemic and had a semblance of ‘normal’ life. That illusion was shattered earlier this week as the news came out that there had been a community outbreak, prompting the decision to go back into lockdown. Lockdown always feels like someone has pressed the ‘pause’ button on life, but nonetheless, I am grateful that the government made this decision so that we could try and contain the virus once again. Sucks about the panic buying and queues at the supermarket though (never again will I take that for granted).

So that’s my life update.

Catch you all in a week!

Socially Awkward Social Life

Okay, so from my last few posts, you probably know that I went through a break up last year… and may be sick and tired of reading about it (oops).

So here’s a new chapter: getting a social life.

This time last year, I was sitting at home most nights and weekends, binging Netflix, eating chocolate, listening to sad songs and generally feeling lonely as f**k.

To give context, I entered into a long-term relationship pretty much the moment I moved cities, so my social circle was pretty limited; it involved my ex, his family, a couple of mutual friends, and a couple of work colleagues.

Yeah… with hindsight, I can see it wasn’t the best situation, but I got comfortable, and it meant I didn’t have to go through the rigmarole of making new friends when I:

a) find it an anxiety inducing activity to meet new people

b) find it difficult to make small talk, let alone keep an entire conversation flowing with a virtual stranger

c) have the hobbies (and as much recent pop-culture knowledge) as a 60-year old, making said conversation flow even more difficult

Yet, five years later, I found myself needing to rebuild (or rather finish building) my social circle. Here’s what I discovered though :

  • You don’t necessarily have to meet new people – you can deepen the relationships you already have

Small chats in the kitchen, drama-binging sessions in the living room, spontaneous after-work dinners.

Little by little, I got closer to the people around me and my world expanded, my friendships strengthened.

Little by little, I felt connected again.

Little by little, I am starting to live my best socially awkward life 🙂

Happy

When I was 22 years old, I got my first “proper” boyfriend.

When I was 26 years old, I experienced my first “proper” heartache.

At 27 and a half years old, I realised; life has no “proper” timeline.

Ever since I was a young girl, and  first discovered Mills & Boon novels, I have been a hardcore romantic. I thought my life would follow the course of those Mills & Boons heroines, I thought I needed a partner to be happy and fulfilled.

Becoming single again, after four years of being a ‘couple’, has proven that is NOT to be the case.

Contrary to what I believed, I find myself happier than I can remember being in years. I find myself discovering new hobbies and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I find myself becoming empowered, and learning not to settle for “just enough” or waiting “until the right one comes along”.

I find myself realising that I need to be happy with myself and my life as it is first, and not worry about finding someone to spend it with.

I find myself hopeful.

Nostalgia

I’m currently sitting here at work, looking out the window. It’s a beautiful winter’s day with a robin’s egg coloured sky, and fluffy white clouds. The sun is shining, and you can hear the sound of rustling leaves as a breeze whispers through the trees.

I don’t know what it is, but days like this really remind me of my hometown: childhood memories of playing in my backyard, schoolyard memories of lunch with friends on the field, college memories of walking on campus.

The ordinary moments which have become the “good old days”.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Dr Seuss―

I Have a Question

Why is it that when we are children, we are taught that we can be whatever we want to be, that the world is our oyster, that the only limits to what we can do is our imagination?

Why is it that as we get older, we are taught to do something practical, you can’t live on dreams, and that following our passions comes only after chasing the cash?

Sometimes it is a matter of luck, sometimes of circumstance, sometimes of motivation. But what if, despite it all, the possibilities are endless, the future is in our hands, and we have the ability to shape it?

Think of JK Rowling, Dolly Parton, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs and Jack Ma; humble beginnings to household names.

What if we can make it, like they did?