I Pray

Not often I write posts about religion… it’s a topic I usually deem as too private or controversial to discuss publicly.

But this blog has always been a diary of sorts, where I write about what’s on my mind. And recently, as I settle into my journey of becoming a Christian, that is God.

I have always believed in God. Always known that there is a higher being, something more to this world than can be explained by science or reason.

I was hesitant, though, to explore and join a “religion”. I still am, because in many ways, “religion” divides rather than unites.

As a Christian, I believe God is real. The Bible is real. But I do think religions are formed by human interpretations of The Bible. And because humans are flawed, this is has resulted in wars being fought, prejudices being created and punishments being passed in “the name of God”.

As a Christian, I belive that God is love and to leave the judgement to Him.

That’s why I pray for a world that has no wars.

I pray for a world where people can accept one another, regardless of religion, gender, ethnicity.

I pray for a world where we don’t harm one another, but instead help each other.

I pray for a world bathed in God’s prescence, a world of love.

I pray.

Sae xo

Dear Ex

It’s been a while since we last talked…How are you doing?

I’ve been doing some thinking, and have something I’ve been wanting to say.

It wasn’t your fault we broke up. It was mine, too.

I’m sorry for not supporting you more.

I’m sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about some things.

I’m sorry for hurting you.

I’m sorry for not realizing what we had when we had it.

I miss you.

I’m thankful that you were in my life.

Thankful for the memories.

Thankful for your love.

Thankful for the laughter.

Thankful for the experiences.

Thank you.

It’s been awhile… And I hear you’re dating someone new.

I hope you are happy.

I hope she appreciates you.

I hope she makes you laugh.

I hope she loves you with as much love as you give out to others.

I’m hopeful that we can meet again as friends.

What is it to be in Love?

To be in love is not an emotion, butterflies in stomach, or sexual attraction; feelings change, butterflies die and looks fade.

To be in love is to have a solid foundation of friendship, mutual consideration and respect for each other, shared values.

To be in love is a choice. A conscious decision to stay with your partner through the good and bad times.

To be in love is to be committed. To your partner, to your life together, to your relationship.

To be in love is a practical, grounded thing, something that may be battered but holds solid throughout the storms; it is not an ephemeral existence that fades away with the slightest breeze.

To be in love with someone is the one of the luckiest things in the world.

What is love?

Is love (of the romantic variety) grand gestures, butterflies in the stomach and physical attraction?

Or is it spending time together, being true with each other – no facades or veiled words – and sticking together despite the challenges?

Is love a choice, something we have to consciously keep working on and a relationship we decide to continue?

Does love have it’s cycles, where we can fall in and out of love with the same person, in various ways and multiple times throughout the span of the relationship?

What is love, and is it worth it?

Grandma

In loving memory of my grandma, who influenced me so much more than she ever knew.

I miss my grandma. She passed away earlier this year, and all I could think about was how I wish that I had spent more time with her, spoken with her, listened to her.

She was an amazingly strong, loving woman – not in the typical sense, and not to say that she didn’t have her flaws. All humans do. But she lived a long life, full of changes, and memories. She left the country that she was born in to come to a whole new place where she didn’t know the culture or speak the language, yet she still managed to thrive and raise her grandkids.

I miss the way she showed her love by telling us to eat more, to wear more clothes to stay warm, to be kinder to our parents. I miss the way she told us to make sure we kept our roots, to not forget Chinese because we are Chinese people.

I wish so much that I could tell her all these things at least once.

I wish so much that she could meet my future husband and kids.

I wish so much that she was still here.

Be kind to your elders, folks. Tell them how much you love them, and better yet show them.

Spend time with them, talk to them, listen to them.

They have so much wisdom, life lessons and love to give.

-Sae xo

 

 

 

Beauty

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty down and self-conscious about my looks. That’s what happens when you work in an industry where appearance is pretty much key (no it is not the modelling industry – actually it’s a bar). During my time there, I’ve noticed a couple of things, which although existed on my peripheral awareness previously, has never been more emphasised.

Continue reading “Beauty”