What is it to be in Love?

To be in love is not an emotion, butterflies in stomach, or sexual attraction; feelings change, butterflies die and looks fade.

To be in love is to have a solid foundation of friendship, mutual consideration and respect for each other, shared values.

To be in love is a choice. A conscious decision to stay with your partner through the good and bad times.

To be in love is to be committed. To your partner, to your life together, to your relationship.

To be in love is a practical, grounded thing, something that may be battered but holds solid throughout the storms; it is not an ephemeral existence that fades away with the slightest breeze.

To be in love with someone is the one of the luckiest things in the world.

(Happy) New Year

2020 was not an easy year. I entered it with expectations, ideas of what I wanted to achieve and an overall sense that my life plan was more or less laid out.

I thought I would be leaving 2020 with a house, and a fiancé.

That didn’t happen.

Instead 2020 ended with my life in free-fall; for the first time in 5 years, I had no idea of what the future held, and quite frankly, that terrified me (still does, even more so due to the age of 30 looming in the near future ). And then there was also Covid-19.

But at the same time, 2020 wasn’t the worst year. It was definitely the most challenging, but it was also the year I reconnected with friends, travelled, re-discovered myself and had “me” time. The year I discovered what was important, and learnt to slow down and appreciate the small things.

As 2021 begins, I am still anxious about what the future holds, but I’m also hopeful.

I have plans to enrol in a language course, potentially look for a new job, relocate to another city, volunteer again, meet new friends, date.

Happy new year.

Please be better than the last.

Bad

Is there such a thing as a bad person? Like, really bad – movie villain bad, irredeemably bad.

Or are there people who have just made bad decisions? People like you and me.

I was watching this show on Netflix called “No Good Nick”, and the main character is a con artist who does some truly questionable things. Yet, the people who are supposed to be “good” have also made some questionable choices.

In fact, you could say that their actions drove the main character to do what she does.

Good people can make bad decisions, can hurt others, can become someone they didn’t think they could be.

But it’s how we move forward that defines us.

Food for thought.

What is love?

Is love (of the romantic variety) grand gestures, butterflies in the stomach and physical attraction?

Or is it spending time together, being true with each other – no facades or veiled words – and sticking together despite the challenges?

Is love a choice, something we have to consciously keep working on and a relationship we decide to continue?

Does love have it’s cycles, where we can fall in and out of love with the same person, in various ways and multiple times throughout the span of the relationship?

What is love, and is it worth it?

Grateful

Sometimes, I have these little random moments where I just pause and look around.

And think, man, I am so grateful.

For my friends and family.

For this roof over my head.

For this sunny day.

For this time to myself.

For this music playing on the radio.

Even for the decor in my bedroom.

Just all these tiny details that get lost in every day life, and get taken for granted.

I feel so blessed.

Friendships are Weird

Today I caught up with some old friends whom I hadn’t seen in a while. Truth be told, I thought our friendship had been left in the past -not because of any drama that happened, or any feelings of dislike, but because… life.

As we grow older, our paths seem to become more divergent. We get caught up in our own things; the coffee dates, shopping sprees, girly catch ups fade into the background. Careers, partners,babies, new friends in a similar phase of life come into the foreground.

Before we know it, we haven’t spoken in days, weeks, months, years.

There are some friendships where this is the end.

There are others, where the friendship is lying dormant, to be re-kindled once the paths converge again.

There are still more where the friendship still exists, but the relationship isn’t as deep as it once was. Where it’s held together mostly by shared history and memories of good times.

Friendships are weird, varied, ever changing, and complex.

But I treasure all of them. 🙂