Introvert not Hermit

One thing I have found about being an introvert, is that everyone assumes you like to be by yourself.

But that’s not always true. I crave social interaction, and enjoy going out and spending quality time with friends.

I just need to recharge my batteries in between (yes, this is where the alone part does come into play).

Complex and contradictory – that’s me!

#Goals

I’m not usually one for writing goals or New Year’s resolutions.

But this year, I had a feeling that something needed to change in my life; I needed to push myself outside of my comfort zone and expand my social circle, and this became the aim of 2021.

I’m only three months in, but in these months I have for the first time in my life:

– Gone to a social badminton event by MYSELF where I knew NO ONE

– Gone on a blind date

– Went to a games night (by myself again, knowing no one)

– Got asked for my number by a stranger (and initiated a coffee date!)

These things may not seem like major events, but as a shy, awkward introvert, let me tell you: they are!

Each event was scary (sweat inducing, anxiety causing, nervous laughter type of scary); but it is so worth it.

Calling Dr Love

Well, I might have a crush on someone… eeeek! HAHA, so this is good news and bad news – good news is that I’ve found someone who makes my heart go pitter patter, bad news is that my brain goes into “D’ooooh” Homer Simpson mode when he’s around. As I’m sure you can all conclude, this makes things very, well, awkward.

As I usually do when I feel uncomfortable in social situations, I withdraw into myself and have ended up ignoring him most of the time <(T.T)> This is so very opposite to what I really want to do – be a charming, funny person and get to know him better.

So: to any love doctors out there – any advice?

Feeling flustered,

Sae x

Resolutions

Hi all,

Long time no blog – partly because I’ve been crazy busy with a new job (!!) and uni recently, but mostly because I haven’t felt the urge to write. Tonight though, I talked to someone who is going to have a birthday soon. No big deal, but she seemed down, so I asked her what was wrong.

She replied “I’m not where I thought I’d be at this age…”

This got me thinking. Am I where I want to be at the age of 21? Yes, and no. I’m at uni, I have a job, and I’ve travelled. But at the same time, I feel like I haven’t had all the experiences I thought I’d have, or really expanded my social circle beyond that of the one I had in high school. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but for someone who knows that she needs to grow socially and be able to connect with others, this feels like a massive failure on my part. That’s why, I have decided to write a list of the things I want to do by the time I’m going to do by the age of 22. Just to put it in writing, and maybe so that the cosmic universe will see this and make spooky things happen – a girl can dream 😉 .

So, here goes:

1. Find a boyfriend  – Ok, seems lame (“I don’t need a man to make me feel good, to make me feel complete”…!) BUT speaking as a 21 year never-been-kissed-virgin … let’s just say this is an experience I want to have before i’m old and wrinkled.

2. Complete a book – Heeeeell to the yeah! Becoming an author is something that’s always been at the back of my mind, but dismissed because it didn’t seem like a feasible career path. The thing which I am realising more and more these days though, especially as I come closer to graduating, is that it’s important to BE HAPPY and do WHAT I LOVE. Of course, gonna keep my day job, because money makes the world go round.

3. Love myself  – I think a major part of why I’m so awkward around people is because I think they are judging me by how i look, and I automatically think that they are going to reject me, so I reject them first (by not talking). So, I’m going to look in the mirror and say one thing I like about myself. I’m going to fake confidence. I’m going to find my personality and let it freaking shine! This is probably the hardest of the three goals, but something which I need to do.

Wish me luck, I’ll (try) keep you updated on the progress.

Sae xx

ps. excuse any typos, writing without glasses on is difficult 😛

21. Just to put it out there

A Snippet of Socially Awkardness

Last week in class, my teacher arranged a pair activity (where you work with another person to complete a task). Some people hear ‘class activity’ and think WHYYYYYYY?, I hear ‘class activity’ and I think Woohoo!New buddy, here I come! *

Due to arriving late in class, I had quickly scuttled to the back of the classroom to the last available seat in the corner. This so happened to be set away from everyone else, so whilst my fellow classmates turned to the person next to them and quickly formed pairs, I was left solo. 

Luckily my teacher saw my predicament and matched me up with someone else – a male and TALL someone else \(^.^)/.

We happened to talk quite easily, and got to know each other a little (the normal stuff:name, major, etc).

Anyways, skip to this week. At the end of class (I arrived late again, so didn’t sit next to him), I make eye contact with him…he sends a small smile… AND THEN…

I DUCK MY HEAD AND POWER-WALK OUT THE CLASSROOM.

 #opportunitymissed

#awkwardnessstrikesagain

*[On a side note: I know some people associate being socially awkward – yes, that’s not a real clinical term – with being anti-social. That’s not the case at all, we want to make friends and new people, we just aren’t smooth at it).

 

 

Socially awkward situation #1 – How to delay replying to a Facebook message

SOOOOO… First post with an actual reference to my blog name! About time right?

As the title implies, this post will deal with “how to delay replying to a Facebook message”.

For you social butterflies out there, you’re probably wondering why I would want to avoid someone’s Facebook message, or have jumped to the conclusion that I dislike that person. That is not the case. Here is the thought process that I go through when I receive a message that is not from a) my family members, or b) my best friend:

-Oh yay! I have a message!

-Oh no! What should I reply?

-OOOOH how do I keep the conversation going?

-AAAGH! I need time to think what to reply!

If you have an iPhone, then luckily you can see a notification from Facebook informing you that you have a message, plus you get a sneaky preview of said messages contents (hehe). This enables you to think of a reply in your own sweet time before OPENING the message an replying.

Here are some helpful tips to help you delay as long as possible:

1) DO NOT open the message until you are ready to reply – because, hello, there is a SEEN function and the other party will know exactly when you have received their message,

2) DO NOT ‘like’, ‘post’ or ‘share’ anything until you have replied to the unopened message. Follows the same principle as above, because if you do any of these things, the other party will know you’ve been active on Facebook but HAVE YET TO REPLY to their message.

3) … actually those are my only tips. But DO remember to reply eventually, because otherwise it’s just rude.

 

Happy social networking!