This has been one of those weeks where every day has felt pretty full on, with evening classes or webinars most days of the week, multiple meetings and a ‘to-do’ list that keeps on growing.
It feels like I have been waging a constant battle against time – not just in terms of completing my daily tasks, but in terms of meeting life goals and of course, the dreaded ‘A’ word… aging.
At this stage in life, I thought I would have achieved so much more than I have; feel like I should have achieved so much more than I have. This feeling is exacerbated by social media where people barely out of their teens are making more money than I will likely see in a lifetime, settling down in dream homes, and/or have discovered the fountain of youth (Arden Cho, I’m looking at you).
All of this gives me a sense of urgency that I’m redirecting into writing, and checking off other items on my bucket list.
But there are some things where the only thing I can do, is wait – things like meeting The One, or finally landing that dream job – and some things I can’t fight – like aging, the consequence of living (a price I would willing pay, compared to the alternative!).
I had a dream the other night, where I had a whim to move into a new flat and abruptly acted on it. In that new flat, I felt so much regret! I kept thinking, “I’m not meant to be here yet” and kept longing to go back to where I had previously lived.
It was such a silly dream, but days later, it’s still stuck with me. I cannot help but wonder if this is God’s way of telling me not to rush; to use this season of waiting to work on my goals that I can achieve now, because when the time is right, He will lead me onto the next stage of my life, where I might not have the luxury of only having to care for myself.
If this is the case, then maybe I need to stop trying to fight time, and start appreciating each moment instead.
This week’s food for thought. 🙂