Time is My Enemy

This has been one of those weeks where every day has felt pretty full on, with evening classes or webinars most days of the week, multiple meetings and a ‘to-do’ list that keeps on growing.

It feels like I have been waging a constant battle against time – not just in terms of completing my daily tasks, but in terms of meeting life goals and of course, the dreaded ‘A’ word… aging.

At this stage in life, I thought I would have achieved so much more than I have; feel like I should have achieved so much more than I have. This feeling is exacerbated by social media where people barely out of their teens are making more money than I will likely see in a lifetime, settling down in dream homes, and/or have discovered the fountain of youth (Arden Cho, I’m looking at you).

All of this gives me a sense of urgency that I’m redirecting into writing, and checking off other items on my bucket list.

But there are some things where the only thing I can do, is wait – things like meeting The One, or finally landing that dream job – and some things I can’t fight – like aging, the consequence of living (a price I would willing pay, compared to the alternative!).

I had a dream the other night, where I had a whim to move into a new flat and abruptly acted on it. In that new flat, I felt so much regret! I kept thinking, “I’m not meant to be here yet” and kept longing to go back to where I had previously lived.

It was such a silly dream, but days later, it’s still stuck with me. I cannot help but wonder if this is God’s way of telling me not to rush; to use this season of waiting to work on my goals that I can achieve now, because when the time is right, He will lead me onto the next stage of my life, where I might not have the luxury of only having to care for myself.

If this is the case, then maybe I need to stop trying to fight time, and start appreciating each moment instead.

This week’s food for thought. 🙂