When I was 22 years old, I got my first “proper” boyfriend.
When I was 26 years old, I experienced my first “proper” heartache.
At 27 and a half years old, I realised; life has no “proper” timeline.
Ever since I was a young girl, and first discovered Mills & Boon novels, I have been a hardcore romantic. I thought my life would follow the course of those Mills & Boons heroines, I thought I needed a partner to be happy and fulfilled.
Becoming single again, after four years of being a ‘couple’, has proven that is NOT to be the case.
Contrary to what I believed, I find myself happier than I can remember being in years. I find myself discovering new hobbies and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I find myself becoming empowered, and learning not to settle for “just enough” or waiting “until the right one comes along”.
I find myself realising that I need to be happy with myself and my life as it is first, and not worry about finding someone to spend it with.
I find myself hopeful.
I’m currently sitting here at work, looking out the window. It’s a beautiful winter’s day with a robin’s egg coloured sky, and fluffy white clouds. The sun is shining, and you can hear the sound of rustling leaves as a breeze whispers through the trees.
I don’t know what it is, but days like this really remind me of my hometown: childhood memories of playing in my backyard, schoolyard memories of lunch with friends on the field, college memories of walking on campus.
The ordinary moments which have become the “good old days”.
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Dr Seuss―
I’ve heard it said before, but never understood it until I experienced it myself: breaking up is hard to do.
Seriously, it’s tough. The range and depth of emotions that comes with it is unfathomable; love songs and romance novels take on a whole new meaning. Suddenly, you are part of a sisterhood/ brotherhood of the broken-hearted.
I’m single… the first time I said it out loud, it was weird. And tough to say without triggering an outburst of tears. In my instance, the relationship had been slowly crumbling for years – but to be honest, no matter the reason, when someone who is a major part of your life is no longer in it, it hurts. That’s just basic fact.
Let yourself feel that hurt.
Know that it will get better.
Know that healing won’t be a linear process; there will be days where you think you are over it, and then others where you can’t stop grieving for the future lost.
Know that you will emerge from this heartache stronger and happier than you have ever been before.
– From someone who has come out on the other side
A little reference nugget for all you Grey’s Anatomy fans:
I’ve been feeling dark and twisty lately, and have been a total grump.
Here’s the thing, though.
It’s okay to feel emotions, negative or positive.
Sometimes I need a little dark and twisty in order to appreciate the moments of sunshine and butterflies.
Why is it that when we are children, we are taught that we can be whatever we want to be, that the world is our oyster, that the only limits to what we can do is our imagination?
Why is it that as we get older, we are taught to do something practical, you can’t live on dreams, and that following our passions comes only after chasing the cash?
Sometimes it is a matter of luck, sometimes of circumstance, sometimes of motivation. But what if, despite it all, the possibilities are endless, the future is in our hands, and we have the ability to shape it?
Think of JK Rowling, Dolly Parton, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs and Jack Ma; humble beginnings to household names.
What if we can make it, like they did?
I think I made a moment awkward.
I went to the chiropractor the other day and arrive slightly early, so I take a seat in reception.
A tall male chiropractor walks out, sees me, smiles and waves like he knows me; I look at him in confusion and quickly avert my eyes.
I should have just waved back. 🤦🏻♀️
Me last night: Sleep now, so when I wake up I get to eat brekkie.
Me eating brekkie: Can’t wait for lunch!
Me eating lunch: Yay, Thai for dinner tonight!
Me eating dinner: I feel like dessert.
Me eating dessert: I can’t wait for breakfast tomorrow.
Anyone else constantly thinking about food? My list of cravings keeps on growing. 😅
I like sunflowers. They’re bright and yellow. And happy.
They make me smile.
Find your sunflower. 🌻
Self explanatory really.
Buy that handbag/coat/shoe/jewellery; go to that fancy restaurant; book that vacation.
Otherwise, what is life? Save for what? Work for what? Wait til you’re old and retired for what?
Treat yourself on occasion !